Art and the explosion of emotion

Posted on by F.Magdalene

I tried everything I could to photograph, scan or whatever to get this painting to show its true face. I thought because of its online presentation it might be with me awhile, not so.

Passion Flower She now has a wall of her own.
Passion Flower
She now has a wall of her own.

Passion Flower will go to its new home and will take along with it the little girl with the funny feet called Dandelion Fields. These two paintings now have a wall of their own.

Daiseys Valley Pay it Forward
Daiseys Valley Pay it Forward

Is my dry spell over? Let us hope so. No matter what, I will keep painting and posting.

Recently I started reading more poetry blogs along with survivor blogs. I can’t help myself, poetry and art blogs are addictive. I’m happy I can’t be seen reading. Lol. Sometimes my hand covers my mouth in shock, something I turn off the tablet, roll to the side and cry. The worst is when I leave a comment. They’re usually full of emotion, very alive! Later I’m a little embarrassed I was so emotional but that doesn’t stop me from returning. Lol Continue reading “Art and the explosion of emotion”

Making Room for More

Posted on by F.Magdalene

Ah, it’s time to start really thinning things out at home. I’ve tackled one corner of my room that has been bugging me for a good long time. It’s the space where I hold all my old art journals and writing journals.

art by FMAustin

A person can only have so much art before it starts to come out of places it shouldn’t, so I’m cleaning out the studio. Here’s what I’m doing, as much as it hurts to do so, some complete art journals are being tossed out while some are being kept. Some that are being thrown away have drawings taken out of them that I’ll keep.

As far as the journals that are being kept, they’re being stored in a waterproof and air tight container. The individual pieces are stored in a filing system thingamabob. In a day or two I will start scanning the individual pieces then put them up on Etsy.

Continue reading “Making Room for More”

Therapy Review: Permission to Speak

Posted on by F.Magdalene

Holding out for MoreI saw my psychiatrist today. We talked about the suicidal feelings. She asked if I feel suicidal at the Kingdom Hall. I said no, I feel like I can make it one more day. She and my psychologist suggested I stick close to the brothers and sisters. but especially try my best to be there in person.

I know my attitude stinks. I’ve got to pray much more about that……

Dr. D and I are taking on an art project where I let my body speak. Often I form experiences and emotions on canvas but they’re from my head. They’re all but photographs of my mind at that time. The rather large therapy painting will be a painting where body expresses itself as it goes through medical changes.

Imagine not speaking the language of anyone around you. Pictures are all you’ve got to tell how you experience the world, the world where there is only one person, one physical being. Now that body has to try and free itself of silence so that bitterness is released. It needs to speak and I can tell and I have a feeling this assignment will be very emotional, humbling and beneficial. I think I’ll have a sense of freedom. I think it’ll give me relief.

A moment of self talk

Continue reading “Therapy Review: Permission to Speak”

How I Think. What I Want.

Posted on by F.Magdalene

I understand Jackson Pollock more than any other artist.

I feel so deeply when reading van Gogh that I have to stop and catch my breath.

Try

I want to be bold. I want to take creative risks. The colors of Klee and Gauguin are honest, and bold. Sometimes I don’t feel so bold as to put on canvas what I truly want to put there.

I wonder if all artists know they speak through art, that it’s their language. But do other artists feel as though they’re constantly searching for their voice? I know art is my language but I’m struggling right now to find the voice of today.

Jordan

Walking With Roses

Posted on by F.Magdalene

Rose Walk 1Ever have one of those days when you were okay for five minutes but torn up the next? I’ve had several of those recently. I can’t put my finger on one thing, not sure I need to. I just know my head doesn’t feel right. I’m trying to help myself, pick myself up a little bit.

Rose Walk 2I had my nightly cry, sketched a little on the painting called Twelve and then decided to brave the stairs and take out the trash. Really, I just needed to be out of here and breathe.

I know I just said this on a blog I first read today. I said we see people walking down the street and they seem more grounded than we are. Well, as I walked around the courtyard I couldn’t help but feel grounded. What grounded me? Choice. Having choices, not feeling backed into a wall, not feeling as if I’m at the mercy of life itself. Being outside with no nurse, no friend standing guard, just me, I felt free. The feeling of being stuck, of being in prison washed away quickly….because I let it.  Continue reading “Walking With Roses”

Art Therapy in the Etsy Shop

Posted on by F.Magdalene

Weeds - Original Art TherapyI paint with my heart and all but bleed on canvas. Painting is a powerful way to release anxiety and thoughts that pound my skull. While art as a whole is therapeutic for me, there are certain pieces that were created specifically as therapy with my psychologist. As I thin out the amount of art in my home, I’d like to make available on a continued basis, some of the art pieces created during my therapy sessions or at a later time.

As I said, art therapy has been one of the most powerful tools in my healing process. I can’t explain to you the relief I feel knowing that some of my abuse memories have lost their sting when I was professionally guided with the tool of art therapy.

Continue reading “Art Therapy in the Etsy Shop”

How to Remove Unwanted Embellishments and Stickers

Posted on by F.Magdalene

What if you like a painting but you don’t want it mounted on the board or you wish to remove an embellishment on an art piece? Well, let me tell you how.

Blues GardenLet’s start with this painting as an example. This is called Blues Garden. The painting is an emotional art therapy piece created in blue, gray and rose, with a wash. I’ve drawn a young woman with her head to the side and several flowers around her. I do like this painting, especially framed, but I have mixed feelings concerning the largest sunflower at the bottom. First of all, I put it there because to hide the words “No Peace” written in white crayon.

Lets say a buyer likes the art, but too has reservations about the sunflower. Well, lets show how to remove it.

Before you begin, you must figure out if the embellishment has been given a permanent seal or is raw such as the sunflower in the painting Blues Garden. Some embellishments, dye cuts, stickers and additions look best without a seal and are on the final art piece in their raw, natural form. Other additions have an obvious finish. You should not attempt to remove these as it will tear the image.  Continue reading “How to Remove Unwanted Embellishments and Stickers”

Crazy. Unstable.

Posted on by F.Magdalene

Today I realized I’m crazy. I’m not right. Plain and simple. No, I don’t kill people or stalk or have any of those types of craziness issues. It’s the craziness where I’m ok one day but the next I’m far gone.

I’m angry.

I’m afraid of being left.

I’m argumentative then deeply remorseful 5 min later. The blast of anger comes out to friends and blindsided them. You can almost see the deer in the headlights look in their eyes.

I overflow with emotion sometimes to the point of exhausting myself.

I want to leave my friends alone because I don’t want to hurt them. I feel this shame inside like I can’t drag them through this anymore. How many times is I’m sorry enough?

Robert, 19

African American Art Doll. African Inspired Custom Order.

Posted on by F.Magdalene

African American Art DollI remember saying I wasn’t going to do dolls anymore. I just couldn’t get into it the way I was. Something interesting happened though, a woman who purchased a doll from me in 2009 contacted me to ask if I still make dolls. She wanted the doll to look a certain way. At first I was nervous because I thought, how am I going to make a doll when my head is a total mess and my body is running on the fumes of fumes. Still, I said yes. I’m happy I did. I really needed to remember that I can still make a quality doll.

I was concerned about making her without a down payment because a few doll sales fell through. I was a bit cautious but with a down payment in hand I went ahead and made her doll.

Just like before, no pattern was used. I used my machine to sew the main parts of the lower body. The head was sewn by hand. She is painted from head to toe by hand. Her face is hand drawn and painted. Her hair is two different types of yarn that give it a nice dark texture. Continue reading “African American Art Doll. African Inspired Custom Order.”

Landfall Abstract Ocean Scene

Posted on by F.Magdalene

This entry shows art two art pieces with a purpose. Rise, fall if I must. Stand to meet the challenge. What’s the challenge? I’ve got to get a hold of my stinking thinking. I have to change my outlook one single color at a time if necessary. While writing I felt a sense of urgency and desperation. I could all but see myself at a door grabbing the handle and pulling it, ripping at.

Lets talk more about the art at the root of these emotions.

Landfall

Landfall

Creating non objective abstract art started with a self challenge in June of 2014. I really wanted to create some of the beautiful art I was seeing, but it didn’t think I had it in me to do that type of art. When I first challenged myself I said I’d do 10 paintings. I wasn’t looking forward to it because it was as if I had no idea where to start, let alone know how to finish.

Though I’m still learning, I can say I have left behind the anxiety. I enjoy it creating non-objective abstract art. I find it soothing to create and I actually feel I know when to start. As a matter of fact I start non-objective abstract such as “Landfall” the same way I begin other art, with a single stroke.

I don’t think too hard and I sure don’t plan ahead. When it comes to art, if I plan ahead then I’m planning for a disaster. I start art with one single stroke and go from there. I paint from the hip…..not literally because that would be uncomfortable. My next challenge with abstracts is to paint them larger.  Continue reading “Landfall Abstract Ocean Scene”