I’m home from a brief medical hospital stay but in the entry I’ve lead with emotional issues. I have to admit I am emotionally excitable and I cry at the drop of a hat. Today I cried my eyes out concerning the CNA who left. I was crying because I…
Category: Multiple Personality Disorder
What Keeps Me Awake – Fear of letting go
My mind will catch up with me if I turn over and go to sleep. Grief will catch up with me if I allow my mind to slow down. I’m afraid of the images that are so vivid even with my eyes closed so I watch worthless TV shows and…
Father. Art.
I keep sighing. My heart is heavy but I keep trying to lift it up. The fatigue is insane. I’m learning so much about how OCD affects my life and how it affected my mother and sister. I don’t know why I keep thinking about my father. I remember his…
Relentless Grief – A History of Madness
Content – Physical sbuse with some details. Sexual abuse. No details. I suddenly put 2 significant memories with the memory of the abuse of K. What does it all mean now? My mother used to giggle as she told us the story of our pet dog trying to bite her…
Relentless Grief
CONTENT – Suicide. Abuse with few specifics. High emotion and anger. Not a light entry. I stayed in bed three days with the lights out. I fed the animals and went back to bed. The world felt too big and too dark. Now I’m in the weeping side of grief….
Sunflowers and Endurance
“At the end of the day we can endure much more than we think we can” – Freda Kahlo The art piece deals with loss and grief. The largest figure holds tombstones in her hair, and her tears roll down into a heart. Those are some of the details in…
Divided
Content – Dissociative Identity Disorder, Uncontrolled weight gain, CNA in public. Dr. D hasn’t changed my diagnosis. He still recognizes the disorder. He wanted to know if I believe that ‘they’ are all me and not actually separate. I said, I know it’s impossible to have more than one person…
A History of Eyes on Me
Content: Abuse. Being watched by abusers. Sadism. Publishing this art piece comes at an odd time seeing as how I just talked about store workers profiling and following me and my caregiver at the store. It’s also not concerning imaginary audience / fable but an all together different type of…
Slow Moving and Art Updates.
I woke around 9am but I didn’t get up until 1 pm. I just couldn’t get going. Yesterday was a full day in that we went to Michael’s craft store, Hobby Lobby and Lowes. I got a sunflower stash at Michael’s, all 4 of the large sunflowers total $10. Score!…
Suicide. Secrets. Imaginary boxes.
Subject matter – No details of anything but I do talk about where I am with grief. Very emotional…. I’m all over the place today. Today my CNA asked about K. I basically just said that sometimes young people don’t have enough life experience to fully understand “this too shall…