I screamed myself awake, and possibly my neighbors, around 6 this morning. I don’t exactly remember the dream. I just remember it was horrible and I was terrified. I was kicking and screaming. But I didn’t catch it on camera because my camera wasn’t set up. I hate that. I…
Category: Multiple Personality Disorder
The Crooked Tea Cup – Chatter Art
I take pen to paper and near violently sketch, in order to manage obsessive thoughts and counting. The Etsy painting expresses anxiety building that I needed to manage. I paint what’s swirling in my head, marching, counting or popping. Art helps manage the symptoms and situation. When focused, I’ll express…
One Shot. Roll On.
Today part of me just mourned the loss of the old CNA that I really liked, the one who said I’m not disabled. It was short lived. I’d rather go without the toxicity thank you very much!!! This head is tired. I spoke with the owner who reassured me that…
Behind the Lines
I chose a name that’s not as harsh and doesn’t include the word freak because I’m not a freak. Here’s the finished piece. Yes, She wants to fade into the background because by nature she’s a private person, now she feels exposed by the caseworker. Even if some don’t get…
A little frustrated and it shows
I intended to keep the colors brighter like always, shockingly bright, but this time darker colors felt right. The rainbow was given a darker red and a mustard yellow stripe in a midnight blue sky. The clothing of the figures is in plum, dark red, green and blue. As I…
Sometimes I Feel Like A Freak
This is about the stress and pressure from people telling me what I should be doing and me having a hard time finishing projects. Slowly but surely they are being completed, this one too very, very soon. – Sometimes I feel like a freak but I try to hide it….
The Whole World is On Fire
This company, CICOA, that serves the elderly and disabled to find so called care companies to come in the house has now been told that I have DID. They, CICOA, told the doctor if I wanted care I’d have to give them both psychiatric and medical diagnosis. I was not…
The Deluge – Now in Etsy
The Deluge is complete and is in my Etsy shop. One of the things I point out about the balance. The woman standing has legs and feet that are wound around. Each foot meets a tiger lily, a child and a purple flower in full bloom. It is haunting in…
Pushing over the edge. Next step.
It’s a difficult time right now. Stress is high enough that my body is killing me. Stress is high enough that I’ve trusted too much due to mental exhaustion. I went running from the building bc I thought it was going to blow up. I thought God sent me a…
Epiphany: A Future that is Mine
CONTENT – Child Abuse. Strong emotion. Therapy Review. The art work is not finished but will eventually be in my Etsy shop. If I believe I have a real future and a real hope, why do I keep wanting to go back and fix things? Why do I still feel…