Category: Self Portrait

Don’t Forget Me

Posted on by Faith

TakenMy physical wounds have healed faster than emotional wounds. There’s a real fear that time will pass, I’ll ‘look better’, and people will forget that on the inside I’m still struggling.

When all this first happened and for the entire 5 months, friends leaped to my assistance. I had more visitors than I knew what to do with. 🙂 I felt loved. Now that things are going back to my version of normal with Lupus, I fear being left and yet I know the fear is unfounded. My friends love me and I know it, and I know that they were there for me before all this happened. But there’s this fear that all the love and attention is going to stop, and I’ll fade right into the background and be forgotten. I like the feeling of being loved. It’s not entirely new but its new enough that with a taste of it I don’t want to let it go. Continue reading “Don’t Forget Me”

Surviving to Eke out Gratitude

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My Face My Art - Half FullMonday was one of the hardest days I’ve had in a while. It started off with nightmares that stayed with me for much of the day. I tried to go back to bed to start over but had yet another nightmare. Then as planned, I got myself together, got on my horse (wheelchair) and left the house despite mega pain. I went to the shoe store and cried my eyes out in the store unexpectedly. I had no idea the grief would hit me right there in DSW but it did and there I sat crying in my chair in front of people. I felt like a fool.

Later I went to the post office to send out art only to discover that it was Columbus Day, no mail. That would have been fine except I was already at my max of stress and physical pain. Then later the big worry happened, I fell. Continue reading “Surviving to Eke out Gratitude”

Sangria and Me

Posted on by Faith

Sangria “Sangria” stands in my Etsy shop full of surrealism and color. The terracotta tone woman with blue hair thinks nothing of the raven that flew in the door. Why should she, after all, she’s got a house inside a house, evergreen trees shaped like arrows and large sunflowers coming from who knows where. The painting is full of life, full of color and texture. And yes, I decided to wear her, too.

I’ve said it before, but I really wish to drive home the point that when looking at a stranger you can’t see on their face what they are going through in their skin. The purpose of putting my art on my face is to be that obvious, to say loud and clear that Lupus and Fibromyalgia can rot from the inside out. Art is one of the major tools I use to manage life with an “invisible illness”.

You don’t start seeing real signs of illness until the person collapses and finds himself/herself in the hospital with baffled family and friends. She looked okay. She looked “normal” What happened?  Lupus. Fibromyalgia. One of the illnesses listed as “invisible”.

Invisible no more. Sangria – My Face My Art   . Continue reading “Sangria and Me”

Like Girls Do – My Face My Art

Posted on by Faith

To combine art scribbled in black ink, inked in with deep blue, crimson and yellow can be sobering. To add these art pieces as a collage over the face they affect was to show that Lupus is more than what you read on a blog. It’s more than the art itself. It’s not pretty. What this collage says for me is: for many, Lupus isn’t written so clearly on the face.

Like Girls MFMA

The digital collage is made up of the following art pieces.

Bruised Reed – Redbubble

In the collage called “Like Girls Do” there is a piece of writing that says in part:

Years of laughter and chit-chat captured in cards and letters with flowers and smiley faces like girls do…… half cursive, half print promises that nothing…. under a cardboard lid with edges worn and weary of holding our secrets, the last….. “

While the original art pieces are available in my Etsy shop or via PayPal, the collage is not for use or sale. But, don’t worry, I’m getting there. The writing is on the back of work in progress.

Faith

Please respect the copyright and Please respect the art’s wishes.

Everything – Fast forward

Posted on by Faith

Everything Sundrip

DECEMBER 27,2015.

Times 32 on the multifunctional remote, flash blurred scenes for you. My eyes have processed them all, bit by bit, no translation of hue or tone lost to speed.
I see. I hear. I can’t make it stop.
Pulled plugs, short circuit, a hundred failed attempts to rewire.
Still I hear
every car honk, every cellphone ring and every exasperated, exhausted,
needy inner plea, burned in the screen of my mind .

Robert

A Month of Strings 1

Posted on by Faith

This may look familiar. I’ve had it forever. “The Tin Man”. He also reminds me of a puppet on strings and the need for freedom. From what?

Tin Man - is still available
Tin Man – Available

From the things that wrap around pnd me. I feel tangled. I feel lost, pulled in several different directions, floating above unstable ground. MY HEART IS BROKEN and I can’t seem to make it stop hurting.

Go here and get twisted around so you’ll feel better and, less pain.

Go here and for this doctor’s magic.

I just want to see my therapist again. I want to remember his face. I saw him in person today but he was so blurry. I couldn’t see him.

Continue reading “A Month of Strings 1”

A Month of Strings 2

Posted on by Faith

I’m still trying to come to terms with the health scare.

Patience - unavailable
Patience – unavailable

I micromanaged every move for fear it would be my last. I thought about a journal I’ve lost touch with, a girl who wrote about the “indignity of death.” How is she? Where is she? I cleaned my room because no one should have to clean it up. I started to take out the trash but I was tired. Then I thought, if I won’t be here tomorrow I should turn off the heat, ya know? I thought about doing my hair then realized it wouldn’t matter. I never thought, I need to throw away this or that so no one finds it.

Continue reading “A Month of Strings 2”

Gloria – The Other Child

Posted on by Faith

Gloria ( Éponine ) fmaArt Title: Gloria
Art by: Faith Magdalene Austin
Size: 5.5 × 8.5
Medium artists paper, Crayola Crayon, ink
signed on the front and back, heat sealed but no acrylic seal.

NOTE: The watermark lines that go through her face are not on the original painting.

The character Éponine is my second favorite character in Victor Hugo’s Les Misérables. For me, she stands for every person who has fallen just a few inches short of glory. She’s the most obvious choice because she’s been there from the beginning but the other person can’t see. Her love is loyal yet silent. She is heroic, selfless and always second.

Continue reading “Gloria – The Other Child”