I screamed myself awake, and possibly my neighbors, around 6 this morning. I don’t exactly remember the dream. I just remember it was horrible and I was terrified. I was kicking and screaming. But I didn’t catch it on camera because my camera wasn’t set up. I hate that. I…
Category: OCD
The Crooked Tea Cup – Chatter Art
I take pen to paper and near violently sketch, in order to manage obsessive thoughts and counting. The Etsy painting expresses anxiety building that I needed to manage. I paint what’s swirling in my head, marching, counting or popping. Art helps manage the symptoms and situation. When focused, I’ll express…
One Shot. Roll On.
Today part of me just mourned the loss of the old CNA that I really liked, the one who said I’m not disabled. It was short lived. I’d rather go without the toxicity thank you very much!!! This head is tired. I spoke with the owner who reassured me that…
Delicate Leaves – African Violet Emotional Breakdown of 2024
Dr D asked how I was able to manage the trash three times? Honestly, it was mind bending hard. I went back three times because I felt like I’d failed or like I had something to prove. She said I threw it away to hurt her. I had to get…
Rough Start. Grace to End.
When all else fails, buy flowers. My CNA and I like each other very much. She said she’s here to stay. I believe her. But today was rough. She’s got a personal crisis. Instead of continuing to argue, right in the middle of the situation I said, I call grace….
Eating Disorder Clinic. Outpatient Care Only.
Today I started care at the eating disorder clinic for abstinence and binge eating. I didn’t feel judged at all. I didn’t feel like my size disgusted them. I know not eating for 3 days is a problem but I didn’t realize it would be something to try to make…
OCD and Eating Disorders. Art.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Eating Disorders occur together up to 40% of the time. My OCD and my eating disorder have gone untreated because there were other things that took first place like getting me emotionally stable so I could stay out of the psych ward, moving to stable housing,…
What Keeps Me Awake – Death and Dying
I have more trust that tomorrow will come than I did six years ago, still I live as if I’m breaths away from dying. I feel overwhelmed with the idea of dying which makes me wonder what will happen to all my plants I’ve worked so hard to nurture? Who…
Art. Set Backs. Forward Bound.
I was able to add three paintings to my Etsy shop. I’ve got a fourth painting coming soon. I’ve been able to lean heavily on art to help with anxiety which continues to be very high. One reason for high anxiety is a health issue. I’m not going to attempt…
Art and Processing Life Changes
Anxiety, her name is Faith This last week has been trying. My head tried to take me down depression street. I needed rest from the world so I turned my phone on do not disturb for the most of the day. I’m definitely trying to take one day at a…