Category: Ink

Freedom. Up Hill Battle.

Posted on by Faith

I paid a heavy price in pain for a little bit of freedom from my wheelchair. I decided to walk about 100 feet up a ramp to my apartment. I needed to stand up at my normal 5 foot 3, and see the world from the angle I was accustom to.

The problem with walking outside is that I can’t feel the ground under me. With shoes on, I can’t feel the ground. It takes a lot of concentration. But today I needed freedom. I swear I feel like a caged animal willing to pay a high price to have someone open my cage and let me out.

The price I paid for about 100 feet is extreme pain in both hips. Both hips have avascular necrosis. I’m having terrible spasms. All of this just to stand up and walk for a little bit.

Was it worth the cost? Yes, for a few moments, walking in the sun, yeah it was worth this.

I’m in bed right now willing a slice of pizza hut over here. Lol It’s in the kitchen. Lol. But I’m writhing in pain. My legs hurt so badly, they’re squirming all over the bed down there. The pain is from the ankle up to the knee then both hips. I really want that pizza though lol.

My little walk reminds me very much of my little painting called Up Hill Battle. I guess sometimes the hill seems small to others but that doesn’t mean it’s not a battle for the person trying to climb it. We never know how much baggage a person is carrying, mental or physical pain. Even the slightest incline can be a struggle when the person walking is carrying a heavy load.

The miniature is complete. I gave it a nice seal yesterday. My intent is to have it in my shop this evening. If you don’t have an Etsy shop but there’s interest, you can send me an email. I accept PayPal. All contact info is on the sidebar.

I’ve been craving pizza for days. I really want that pizza in the kitchen but the price is a little high for me to get up and get it. I’ll use patience. I’ll rest then have pizza later.

It was still a nice day. I love outing day 🙂 Please let this CNA stay. I adore her.

Faith

Mental Illness and Demons

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Fish Face Insanity by Sundrip

My neighbor has Schizophrenia. A different neighbor says it’s not a mental illness but that he has demons. She inaccurately applied Scripture, which I quickly corrected, but its still on my mind and still bothers me.

She has no idea what comments like that do to a person with a mental illness. Though I corrected her, its not my job nor is it my desire to be the grand educator. I don’t want to sit down the ignorant and set them straight, I just want to fight my battle without their words spinning in my universe.

When she said he has demons I thought to myself, she should never find out that I have Multiple Personality Disorder! That for sure would make her think I have Legions of demons in me.

disolve by robert Sundrip

When younger my mother used to tell me that my demons were upsetting her. My mother knew I had DID when I was at least a young teenager. She knew Morton by name and called him a demon. She said I’m possessed because of being a bad person. That too has stayed with me. I fight with the thought, that I’m a bad person, but I no longer fight the fear of having demons. My mother’s reason for saying it wasn’t ignorant beliefs it was cruelty and abuse. My sister knew I had others, too. She used to call out a young one to play. I don’t know if she still remembers that or not.

You know, I got to thinking, mental illness isn’t for the weak or ignorant. A person with a mental illness has to be one of the strongest people around because we have to fight tooth and nail just to keep our head above water. Then you add life events with it and you’ve got yourself one serious storm. We are not weak for having a mental illness, not even close.

The drawings included were created in the last few days as a way to survive myself.

Robert

Black and White

Posted on by Faith

Finding artwork created by alter personalities used to happen quite a bit. I thought it was strictly a thing of the past but I guess I was wrong. It would seem that I still find art I don’t know a thing about. I was quite shocked to see the piece called My Sister in the middle of the entry Half of Us and All.  That piece is by Michelle and I have no recollection of it. I was relieved to see it though because I thought the only thing I am no capable of is abstract images in black and white. I thought I was all arted out or something. So when I saw her drawing and several of Robert’s drawings, I was quite pleased that we’ve still got some art images in us to put on paper. I’m not going to press it though. If all I can do is put ink on paper from corner to corner like in this entry then so be it. If other times I paint or draw something more ‘substantial’ then that’s fine, too.

black white african fma Sundrip

Dr. D and I talked about my creative goals for next year. My goal is simple which means its going to be difficult. My goal is to have some fun, just let it be. That’s what I intend to do. I’m not going to force myself to create anything. I’m not going to nag myself or get down on myself. I create what I create. I paint what I paint. 

I am also in a newer financial situation. For the first time in about ten years its not imperative that I sell art each month. My rent is affordable now.

Though I no longer get government assistance with food, I am at least able to budget the same amount I used to get so that my food purchases don’t need to change just because the money source did. Well, I shouldn’t say I don’t get foodstamps any longer. I get $15.00 each month for food from the government. I look at that number and just laugh. How did they come to that amount? I knew with rent so low I’d lose quite a few foodstamps but $15 is insulting. Even so, things are much easier now, financially speaking. Things got bad for a minute there. 

Dr. D wanted to know if the subject matter of my art will change with stresses lower and with my goal of fun in mind. No. I doubt it. My art changes when something emotional happens in my life. The subject of my art changes when an alter paints instead of me or that alter is in therapy. Michelle (age 12) is taking some of the time for her stuff our in office sessions. Robert used to do that but hasn’t since we got sick last time. He’s sort of in a managerial position inside and is doing his very best to keep us all on the same page with things running smoothly. He’s busy keeping us sane, taking meds and dealing with CNA stuff. I’m happy to see he’s sketching and painting in the book. I’ll scan that next week. For now I just have black and white ink work which is art worked on by several of us. I have no intention of adding color. 

  • black white african fma Sundrip

This goal of creative fun is of interest to me because it comes at the tail end the honeymoon of my post hospitalization. I can tell I’m still very shocked and traumatized by what happened so it interests me that I would say I just want to have some fun. I don’t want to worry about producing something worthy of showing on the blog. I want the weight of my own criticism and expectations to no longer crush my creative process and enjoyment. I want to go with the flow more. I don’t want to see this as my job. Yeah, it is my job. I paint and sell my artwork and dolls. This is my employment, but never should I burden myself or load myself with unreachable expectations. So, lets see what stress I can throw off in 2019. Lets see if I can allow myself to have some creative fun. 

Because my plate is full and I’m a bit overwhelmed with life, I’ve only set the one creative goal for 2019. I usually do three but not for the coming year. 

Jordan

Nesting Place – Crown of Lights

Posted on by Faith

Nesting Place 2 - available
Nesting Place 2 – SOLD

Her beginnings are yet to be formed but from the brilliance of color one can tell she’ll be a beautiful bird.

Art Title: Nesting Place – Crown of Lights
Art by: Faith Magdalene Austin
Medium: Oil, ink, on heavy paper,
Size: 5.5 x 8.5 inches
Finish: signed, unmounted
Style: Abstract Expressionism, Modern

I am still unable to get a good shot of Nesting Place I. I’m still trying though. Continue reading “Nesting Place – Crown of Lights”

It’s All Black and White

Posted on by Faith

For a girl who uses a lot of color, I’ve discovered quite a few art pieces that are in black and white. Many are casual sketches created while listening to music. This is certainly the case with the three drawing series called Strings. I like these abstracts because you can turn them whatever way you’d like.

There are most certainly some art therapy pieces in there such as Blink, Bite, Impact and Bruised Reed.

I go through black ink like water, but I usually add color. Sometimes it just doesn’t feel right, or I leave it up to the purchaser to add color if they desire. Many of these sketches are available in my Etsy shop. Please see the link on the sidebar.

Okay, I’m out. Time for sleep. I shall visit people tomorrow and Friday.
See ya soon.

Live Free. Create Well.
Sundrip

I draw trees

Posted on by Faith

The cat is not included in the sale. A simple black and white tree with branches that reach wide, up and out
open to color or satisfied with where he is at this stage of being.
A simple black and white tree ever growing, keeping his arms open to freedom and possibilities.
Will it bloom pink flowers or produce fruit in its season?
Will it stand by the water and drink its fill or
Create its place in the yard of a family to shade the loved ones inside?
It’s a simple sketch.
A simple black and white sketch.
Sometimes simple is exactly what we need.

Art Title: A Tree
Art by: Faith Magdalene Austin
Size: 9.5 x 14 on artists paper
Medium: Ink
Finish: Unsealed, unmounted, raw art
Style: Illustration, Organic

Ink Tree, A TreeI draw trees a lot, a whole lot. Drawing trees or sunflowers is soothing for me. They’re my go to item when I’m emotional but clogged up and unable to express myself better. I think after drawing them I’m more relaxed which does allow me to either speak freely or paint with purpose.

This tree is one of my bare trees. I hardly ever draw them with leaves. I think I’m more interested in the intricacies of the branches than I am of the leaves. The bark on trees is a magnificent work of art and a nice hiding place for tiny little lives. Man, trees sustain so much life.

Continue reading “I draw trees”

Making Room for More

Posted on by Faith

Ah, it’s time to start really thinning things out at home. I’ve tackled one corner of my room that has been bugging me for a good long time. It’s the space where I hold all my old art journals and writing journals.

art by FMAustin

A person can only have so much art before it starts to come out of places it shouldn’t, so I’m cleaning out the studio. Here’s what I’m doing, as much as it hurts to do so, some complete art journals are being tossed out while some are being kept. Some that are being thrown away have drawings taken out of them that I’ll keep.

As far as the journals that are being kept, they’re being stored in a waterproof and air tight container. The individual pieces are stored in a filing system thingamabob. In a day or two I will start scanning the individual pieces then put them up on Etsy.

Continue reading “Making Room for More”

Three of Diamonds and Ink on Paper

Posted on by Faith

Three of Diamonds

About:
There are three main faces in this abstract art piece. As the painting unfolds with diamonds, checker boards, stripes and squares, two small figures stand firm with their backs to one another.

Details:
There are plenty of details. Swirls bump into squares and triangles, circles join checkers and faces hide themselves in it all. There are a total of 7 figures hiding in color. Continue reading “Three of Diamonds and Ink on Paper”